Single RU Parents

[Heather]

I was wondering if there were any single mamas here. Or fathers!

I was wanting to discuss the different creative ways you've found to stay home with your children. If you aren't single yourself, maybe you know someone who is. I'd like to hear your story.

Personally, I'm living with my dad for a few months. It's just some time to breathe, to figure out how to make it on my own. He's great with the kids but is pushing for kindergarten for my oldest. School starts back August 11 here-- I find that scary and am honestly unable to even consider it.

I'm hoping to be out on my own by at the very least the first of the year. I have some time to save some money and find a way to make a steady income without resorting to school/daycare.

[laura bowman]

heather, i think this is such an important topic that i've created a new category for all discussions related to single RU parenting. i hope you don't mind.

i love you girl!!!

[Kelly Nishan]

I am a single mom. I'm living in a 3 generation household with my mom and Lizzy(15). My step son (24) from a past relationship also lives with us. I am working full time and we all make it work. My mom doesn't work a full week so she's home some days and my son works 2nd shift. I've been at my job for a long time so I can be somewhat flexible. If Lizzy can't grab a ride wherever she wants to get to she takes the bus.

The way I make it work is making Liz my top priority. We usually touch base during the day at least once and once I'm out of work I'm totally accessable to her. I'm definitely the driver mom. I am always driving around a gang of kids. It's great because I get to really know who her friends are.

It's not the ideal situation though. I would rather be home with her. I wish I was brave enough or creative enough to find a way to manage it. I do love my work though so that also makes it easier.

[Heather]

Woah Laura, you absolutely ROCK MY SOCKS LADY!!!!

I love you too :*)

[Heather]

Thanks for replying Kelly! It's nice to hear from a working mom. You're lucky your mom is there for you! I won't be able to leave my kids with my dad long-term.

I may have to end up living with my dad for longer than the first of the year, but I really hope it doesn't end up that way! We have a great relationship but we really need our own spaces. He's been a very blue collar "Worked for what I got" type guy, always. And I'm the hippy who wants to build a cob house and have a self-sufficient farm. I don't see that dream really coming alive for years. Aiieeee. I need land first.

I feel crazy for even having these dreams, which is why I want to meet both people who do work full time and those who are living my crazy dream. The workers might talk some sense into me, the dreamers might inspire me to find the start of the thread. I don't know where to begin!

Thanks for sharing your story!

[Ren]

What about living on a farm as a work-hand? You would be volunteering your time in exchange for a space to live (some farms have a trailer or guest house or??) plus some of the food grown. I wonder if there is a way to do that here? So many farms need help. I'm thinking in particular of the Claude Simmons couple who are getting up in years and just might love to have a young body to help out. There are always options girl! Don't give up on the dream of land and being self-sufficient.

[Heather]

I have an aunt that earned a place like that, she worked and lived on a dairy farm in a really cool farmhouse. I always totally admired her lifestyle. I haven't thought about that in a long time! That's such a good idea. My dad could maybe hook me up, he knows lots of farmers.

Thanks Ren :D

[Kelly Nishan]

Never feel bad for crazy dreams! Isn't that the gift we are trying to give our kids? The freedom to really be themselves and go for whatever they want. The surprise is that joy and freedom comes back to us.

[laura bowman]

last night, ren and i had a great start of a potentially bigger discussion with our friend perry about the land that she lives on. she is interested in selling bits of it to people she knows, especially homeschooling friends, and starting a community sort of where families and especially single moms (like herself) can be home more as everyone works together to be sure the kids are taken care of. and have gardens and all that stuff.

we'll have to all talk about that soon! real soon! but she isn't planning on doing any selling for about a year which is good.

[Heather]

Wow, that's sort of what I've been thinking about. Getting together some other single moms and pitching in with labor and finances, trying to make it all work together-- where apart we'd be struggling. And building a cob village. Yeah. I want to play in the mud.

Keep me posted about that La!!

[Lau]

Another single mom here, though not homeschooling yet... I have to admit that I'm very "lucky": unfortunately my father died 3 years ago, but the "lucky" point is that I've inherited a house, so i have to pay no rent nor mortgage ;) Besides, I'm a lawyer and am self employed, so I depend on no one: i am my own boss, work when I need or want to, have my own office but sometimes work at home when my son is sleeping or playing alone (which, fortunately, he loves!).

So the plan is to deschool him by next Christmas and find a nanny for the occasional days I need to leave him (as when having trials, appointments with the notary, etc). I'll probably find an English nanny, which is great because DS might be trilingual soon!!!!

[Kelly Nishan]

Hi Lau
My advice would be don't worry about "de-schooling" him too much or set a time limit. I was like this at first also. I really had it in my head that Liz should stay in school until February break and then we would start. She actually stopped going to school a few weeks before that. Now I know it was an arbitrary idea and I'm glad I let go of it.

You are lucky your little guy is so young. He is really not the one needing to de school. He will just continue living his life and learning in freedom. He will teach you how to live without school becuase it will be his way of life. And a beautiful life it will be I'm sure.

[Kristy Iverson]

I am a single mom (though my boyfriend and I just recently bought a house together -- so not really single anymore!) who has been unschooling my two kids for nearly three years. I work from home as a digital artist for a portrait photographer and do part time work (3-5 hours/week) as a title clerk for a local carlot. Money is often tight, but living this lifestyle is well worth the effort.

House-sitting, pet-sitting, farm hand, ..... open yourself to any and all possibilities -- something wonderful will turn up!