I'm not sure how to begin....

[Mary]

I'm having a hard time understanding unschooling. I'm thinking that it is what I did before I had to report my boys to the state. Meaning, without having someone watching and having to write quarterly reports(new to us this yr) I had such freedom in teaching.

Once my boys turned 6 I felt this need to buy workbooks for handwriting and math. I research curriculum, yet never "feel" them. I worry about feeling as if my boys determine our days or run our house. Is there some structure in unschooling?
Do you have your dc do math worksheets or handwriting?

I feel like I'm truly hurting my ds joy for learning. They just about cry when I say it's time for school.....BTW- I feel ridiculous announcing this to them. I am still de-schooling and sort of feeling chaotic. Any suggestions or basic quidance would be valued!!

Thanks,
Mary

[Katherine]

How to begin... go on vacation (if not off somewhere then do a "staycation" and have vacation where you are right now) and don't do any school with the kids. Once you have read up more on unschooling and have begun your own deschooling process, you can stay in vacation land wherever you go and take the fun with you.

Rue Kream's book is great and a short easy read. It will give you lots to ponder and I found myself reading parts of it several times again.

There's also a great article by John Holt on children learning music which applies to how children learn just about anything. (It's a long article and the ideas are laid out early so that it's really not necessary to read the whole thing unless you want to.) You don't want to teach, just live and the children learn... even while the parents are learning or just living. Once you get into unschooling it's very natural to see learning as simply living, and not separate at all from each other.

Joyce Fetteroll has a site full of things to read that have helped me to clear up a lot of questions. Sandra Dodd also has a humongous website that you can get lost in for years, so I gave you a deschooling link there and to get to the rest of Sandra's website, just click on the tree at the bottom of the page. :)

[Mary]

Thank you both so much! I feel encouraged. Plus, I have some reading to do. I've started reading "Homeschooling our Children, Unschooling Ourselves".....makes such sense. I believe I will learn a lot from you all!

Thanks@

[Sandra Dodd]

-=- They just about cry when I say it's time for school.....BTW- I feel ridiculous announcing this to them. I am still de-schooling and sort of feeling chaotic.-=-

If you're still saying "it's time for school," you're not deschooling yet!
Deschooling, kind of like alcoholics' anonymous members' count of sobriety, starts over when you "relapse."

There is structure, but it's based on your principles (the new principles you'll gather up as you're deschooling) and your new ways of deciding what to do. You might find that days don't need to be "determined" by your boys OR you. And as you start learning by living life, the structure will be the natural structures of life: meeting friends, eating, sleeping, bathing, raking leaves, playing, listening to music, watching movies...

There are many things to help here:
http://sandradodd.com/help

[Candy Cook]

I didn't know where to start, either. So, I just did. I started by not starting. I just took my kid out of school. Then, I watched him live his life. I learned what he found interesting and joined in his interest. I found most of the reading recommendations boring. So, I wing it. I've just been joining in doing things he's interested in, providing him with things to develop those interests and writing a lot of it down. I'm sure I can BS my way through a yearly report (though, we don't have to turn them in, just keep for our records).

I'm still "deschooling." If you back off, they may surprise you at what they will want to do. It might not be a worksheet, but they will want to do something that requires them to use math. They will want to do something that requires them to read, to write something down, etc. It may not come as quickly as you think it should, but just remember that their instincts are probably better than yours as they have not spent as much time in the institution.

[Mary]

Yes! It hit home when I read what you said Sandra "if you are still saying it's time for school, you are not de-schooling yet".
I never wanted to start with the "it's time for school" thing. Then when Sept rolled around it sort of happened. It's as if I'm programmed from my yrs in school, sort of robotic :) The more I think of it, the more I realize I don't want that for my children.

[Nance Confer]

Yep, most of us went to some sort of institutional school and see the ads in late summer and then start to see the school bus at the stop and the rhythm of things around us changes. . . it's hard not to get caught up or feel the "I should" or "the kids should" pull.

I run an umbrella school for unschoolers and other hsers and there is always a surge of people enrolling this time of year. Why? They don't have to start in September. They just do.

But as the poster said above, this is a great time for a vacation. :) Even if, and maybe especially if, it's in your own backyard.

Then do your reading and listen to what the kids want to do next. If that sets the agenda for your home, what's wrong with that?

And, yes, my DD and DS do a lot of math and handwriting. Playing video games, writing in a journal, figuring out what to do with birthday money -- yep, just like real life. :)

And I'm so happy. :) DS just cooked his own spaghetti with the announcement that it's just boiling water so how hard could it be. What a lovely boy! More time for Mom to read the blogs. Now, maybe he can teach his Dad. :)

Happy unschooling!

Nance