RU explained in depth with strangers/family or not?

[Michele James-Parham]

Do you find that it is better or not to explain RU to strangers/family if they ask questions that make for hard answers without explaining in RU terms?

I know that we just left Rue Kream's book and Freedom Challenge with my in-laws. We have had several conversations with them about homeschooling in general and why it's better for us and their grandchild[ren] and haven't really even touched on Unschooling, let alone Radical Unschooling!

When strangers or new acquaintances ask about whether or not we homeschool, I just say, "yes". If they ask anything further, I usually reply that, "we live life as though there is no such thing as school".

[Joni Zander]

AMEN, Sister! I feel the same way.

I rarely say that we homeschool - I almost always say that we unschool and borrow Dayna Martin's "delight-led learning" description. I often explain joy-based decision making rather than fear-base decision making.

I love letting people know about unschooling and helping them let go of all the expectations, all the "shoulds", and all the "have-tos" in their lives and help them to free their children. I'm pretty passionate about this!

At this point, I usually tell people I have a pretty "normal" 16 year old daughter who LIKES to hang out with me. Most people are pretty impressed with this and want to hear more.

I've found that the more confident you are in your chosen life style and decisions, the less people question and the more they accept what you are doing.

[JoAnn]

Among those that homeschool I say that we unschool. Since we are still on the path of RU I don't share that. Although compared to those we know IRL we are pretty radical. With strangers it's just "We homeschool".

I blog freely about our life so my friends and family that have the link have full access to how we live and learn. Some read but most don't. I used to hide it but not any longer.

[Katherine]

Oh I am so glad to hear you and Heidi say all this about unschooling! I have been feeling so like... "TONE IT **down** already, Katherine!" Brian has had his earful of it since I first heard about unschooling, and of course it's just regular day to day stuff for Karl--- so no need to talk to him about unschooling.

It's too much in the same house. But other people can run away if they want, right?

Right? :

[Sylvia Toyama]

I've been giving this a lot of thought lately. We recently visited family in California -- grandparents, two aunties, an uncle and some cousins -- and I fully expected the topics of homeschooling and maybe even unschooling to come up. I felt confident about explaining it to others. Gary and I talked about it on the drive, about the whole idea of being more comfortable saying 'we unschool' to others. In theory it sounds great, in the moment it can be challenging. Depending on my mood -- if I don't feel like launching into a description, the I say 'homeschool' and let 'em think what they will. If I'm up for a longer discussion, or they seem genuinely interested, I mention unschooling.

Recently, tho, I had an experience that's causing me to consider saying unschool more often. A new Mom has joined our local unschooling group. When she first came to a meeting, we had this feeling we'd met before -- she looked so familiar. She asked me if I'd been a LaLeche League Leader, and I said yes for a couple of years. Then she put it together. I had led a meeting she attended a couple of years ago (I was subbing for another Leader, so it was a one-time thing). She related to me that during the meeting, two things I'd said had a big impact on her. First, I'd shared that I was still nursing Dan, who was then 3 and a half (something I would have only shared at LaLeche, at Dan's request) which prompted her to continue nursing her then 18mo old son. Second, she remembers that during a conversation after the meeting, about homeschooling (seems most Leaders in Albq homeschool at one time or another) I said 'we unschool'. It was the first time she ever heard the word unschooling, so she researched it. Now that her two boys are 5 & 2, she's unschooling!

That reminder that if I have the chance to say unschool, but don't, a seed may not be planted, really touched me. A few months ago, a local friend unschooling Mom was visited by Social Services on a complaint of educational neglect. Ultimately, it went away, but in the interim I found myself really uncomfortable saying we unschool to anyone but other unschoolers.

As it happened, during out visit with family, the topic of homeschooling never came up, much less unschooling. As we were packing up our car, the auntie with whom we'd stayed (she's 87 & a retired social worker) read my Shine with Unschooling bumper sticker. I could have taken the time to explain that we unschool, but we were, literally, driving away in 5 minutes, so I let it fall unanswered.

I'm still not sure I'd say unschool to everyone -- for example, our kids' doc knows only that we homeschool, which I have said we do without a set curriculum, and that our learning is interest-led and varies from day to day. And some days, I'm just not willing to spend any of my time or energy explaining who we are.

[Sandra Dodd]

I LOVE this:

-=- Last time we visited, though, the first thing out of their mouths was "Unschooling, thank God! We were afraid you'd become one of those terrible homeschoolers who uses worksheets!" They were both starry-eyed proponents of open classrooms back in the day and are thrilled to discover that the visions of John Holt have blossomed into an exciting underground educational movement.-=-

Northern New Mexico was a center of open classroom and alternative education back in the day, so with many people here when they ask for more information, I can say "Do you know about the 'open classroom' stuff in the 70's?" If they say yes, I say "It's like that, but with the whole world," or "Well that didn't work when kids had to be in school against their will, but it works GREAT with homeschooling."

I don't say unschooling right away. I might as well say "We ziphormarack." It's not polite to speak foreign language or made-up words to strangers. So I either say "they're homeschooled" or "they don't go to school."

Also the law where we are says homeschooling is legal. The way I do it might involve some particulars, but it's still homeschooling. It's the most enlightened, artsy and transformative kind of homeschooling; what can I say. :-)

Sandra