Going out of the house with my kids in school hours.

[Joannette]

Hi! When I have to do something out of the house with my kids in school hours, most of the people look at us like I'm an alien or something strange. When we start to "homeschool" we went to the store near by and two old men were behind us, they were talking to each other of why my kids were not in school. That makes me so angry because It's not of their business and they didn't even know me. That was 2 years ago and sometimes when I feel a little touchy I think twice to go out and prefer doing it after 2pm. I want to know if someone pass through this or something similar.

[Aubree]

I have had this question, too, when my daughter was 3 and 4. They are shocked that she isn't in "school" or daycare already. Crazy, right?!!!!

[Melissa]

what about kids going out of the house during school hours...without me?

It's something that always makes me nervous, just because I'm not there to 'protect' them from evil people ;-) Just today they walked to the local shopping center by themselves, at 1pm. I was a little freaked, but they didn't want me along. Soooo...they take my cell phone, and are supposed to say if questioned, 'we homeschool and we're done for the day'.

The people at the shops don't give them a hard time, because we're there as a family often enough. However, other shoppers sometimes do. Today there were some high school guys at the ice cream place for lunch (we have an open campus policy) and they did tease a bit about being homeschooled nerds. Rachel was uncomfortable because one guy said 'Give me all your money', but Josh said he was just joking around.

[Sylvia Toyama]

This is relatively new territory for us, too. Just last month, Andy made his first foray into Target by himself and felt so good about how it went.

Then last week in Toys R Us, while I was standing 10 feet away, he was asked to give his backpack to the manager be to stored at the front counter. I stepped over to see what was going on. I had seen the manager and heard Andy's voice, but missed the gist of it. When I got there, the manager was explaining to Andy "it's a safety issue... Oh, your Mom can hold your backpack" she said as I appeared. and handed me his backpack (he had very agreeably handed it over to her).

I called her on it. I said, "Actually it's not a safety issue, Andy -- it's ageism. You've reached that age when most store managers will suspect you of theft if you carry any bag or pack at all." She then admitted that it was simply policy and not a safety issue at all.

After she walked away, I pointed out to Andy that she hadn't asked for my backpack, and had even allowed me to hold his backpack. It's not about safety and it's a rule not everyone is subject to. He responded that she had offered to let him leave it at the front desk and claim it when he left. I agreed that is one option, however, no guarantees as to the safety of his items can be made. Unless he has the store personnel catalog the contents of his backpack, it's a perfect opening for someone to steal from backpacks behind the counter(yes, it can and does happen). So he can't be really assured of the safety of his things.

As we drove home, I explained about the local convenience stores where signs are posted "only 2 students at a time" and "Leave backpacks at the door". They don't just mean 'students', (since Andy's not a student I can see him thinking the sign didn't mean him -- if he noticed the signs at all) they mean teenagers specifically, and they expect you to leave your backpack at the door. Andy said, "but someone could steal my backpack." I agreed and told him my policy is that if someone doesn't trust me, I don't trust them, and I sometimes choose not to give them my business, either.

We talked a bit more about it, because Andy's backpack is the repository for his DS, cell phone and his security items (you know what I'm talking about, Melissa). The idea of giving up his backpack, or returning to find it gone is a big one for him.

I'd been aware for a while that he was at the age of suspicion wherever he goes, and sad that it coincides with his arrival at the point where he's willing to shop alone. Usually, when we shop at Target, I let the boys go on to the toy dept to wait for me to do my own shopping, Andy generally doesn't bring his backpack into Target, not sure why he had it at Toys R Us, since I encourage him to put it in the trunk when we shop, but I'd been thinking it was likely time to discuss attitudes toward teens in public. It just saddens me, because Andy is the most honest person I've ever known -- it would never occur to him to steal something and he rarely even tries to get away with a lie (he's the worst liar I've ever met, worse even than Gary!). Andy would be mortified if a store manager accused him of shoplifting.

[Amy N]

I'm in Florida,theres alot of homeschoolers here, so going out during school hours does not draw much attention. You know what really strikes me? We'll meet a Mom at the park or a store and mention that we're homeschoolers and she says something like, "Oh that is so great. You must really have alot of patience! I could never stand to do that with my kids!"
Yuck! What kind of parent is that?

[Amanda]

I always reply with, " School, you must be very brave. I could never do that."

[Amanda]

Sorry I got timed out .

I don't mean brave like school violence, more like will the school do the best for your child.

[Vicky]

Hey Joannette! I am a beginner homeschooler from Luquillo. I feel the same way you do. I guess it bothers me that all conversations with children have to revolve around the question of "Why aren't you guys in school?" or "What grade are you all in right now?", because If they where just in public or private school, the subject of the conversation would end or change. Unless they asked if they where getting good grades!! *shakes head*

Anyway, once they ask, I have to explain they are homeschool, and if my toddler is fussy or having a tantrum (and he's like that most of the time) or i'm in a hurry, the explanation can really set of a bunch of questions that can just get on my last nerve.

Most times people have been sarcastic or mean with me, and that's why I might always feel on edge about the dreaded questions. I've though about carrying a portfolio with me with a whole bunch of copies of homeschooling links and info, just so I can pass it out to curious folks. I might have to start implementing that idea! :)

Just 2 days ago at the supermarket, a lady asked me at what school my kids where at, and when I said I homeschooled, she gave this expression of "Oh well", as if trying to say OK then. Another time, I had this silly neighbor ask me if I was then like William Elias and his wifes, to which I told her that there where many other homeschoolers in PR and that I did not understand why people immediately associated homeschooling w/their family. I even started defending his family and their lifestyle because I'm a live and let live type of gal and I have no negative views about their lifestyle. So then her and another one of my neighbors started laughing histerically at me. I felt like that was so disrespectful because I would NEVER laugh at someone like that. I prefer to agree that I disagree with someone instead of trying to state my own views, because most times, people prefer to explain and defend their views, than to listen to yours.

I know I have to develop a thick skin about this because I plan on doing it for a long time! It's always nice to hear there are other's who are feeling just the same :) Hoping you and your family are in good health. ~ Vicky Montes ~