A Paean to Sandra Dodd

[Frank Maier]

A confession, an apology, and a story, all wrapped together in a melange of flavorful goodness. Sorta. So little to say and so much time. Strike that. Reverse it. Let me begin in media res.

Back in the last millennium when dinosaurs still roamed the earth and the internet was being worked on by Al Gore, my wife, Ronnie, started interacting with the eminences grises, the doyennes of unschooling. There were several and they all deserve mention in the greater scheme of things; but this is a particular story, and it's my story. So I'm gonna talk about Sandra Dodd.

I did not follow or participate in those early online forays of Ronnie's except when she'd call me over once in a while to view a particular message or thread. After about a year of these sporadic, limited looks into those discussions, I opined to Ronnie that it seemed to me that that Sandra Dodd person was pretty blunt and maybe newbies would be put off by her style.

That brings us to the confession portion of this post. Yes, Sandra, my first impression of your online self was that you were awfully blunt. Perhaps too much so. Ronnie demurred and said that when Sandra or the other blunt speakers were offline, threads would drift into odd and unuseful directions. Stuff like: Well, if *you* feel it necessary to limit tv, then maybe you should. Ok, I understand that you're saying that you differentiate a swat on the butt "spanking" from hitting and I guess that's ok for you. Etc. You get the idea.

A lot of years passed and a lot of stuff happened during those years but let's fast forward to here and now. Viewing and participating in, briefly, this recent spate of threads has prompted me to state publicly what I learned in those intervening years.

Sandra, you are a saint with the patience of Job. I hereby officially apologize for thinking otherwise all those years ago. Ronnie was absolutely correct and I was absolutely wrong. Your "bluntness" is blindingly necessary and your patience is vast, especially compared to my own. I'd typically rather be playing with my wife and kids than writing on any ng and that's where I'm heading now.

Sandra, thanks for being you!

[Joyce Fetteroll]

Thank you :-)

And a HUGE thank you to all the people who repeatedly put their tripping points out in public and allow their stumbles to be analyzed. You not only help others by your willingness to question yourselves, but help people see where the explanations need improved to be clearer.

How did I miss this thread from last year? (Perhaps it was while I was off line from a dead router.)

Thank you, Sandra! It took me a while to get what you were saying 16 years ago (and I appreciated the "Sandra interpretters" on AOL ;-) But I sure could see that what the unschoolers had was what I wanted and spent hours reading, absorbing as much as I could, reading a couple of years back into the archives. (Ironically taking advantage of a free AOL trial while Kathryn was in preschool.)

And every time Sandra was gone from the forum, I *really* appreciated what her presence meant and her ability to keep the talk from devolving into fear soothing that supported moms but also what got in the way of unschooling, as Ronnie also observed.

And thank you Meredith! Your calmness astounds me. I want to be as patient as you when I grow up :-)

Joyce

[Meredith]

Oh gosh (blushing)! I've so appreciated all the input and thoughtfulness so many experienced unschoolers have shared over the years. I've gotten a special kind of reassurance from unschooling discussions in general and from Joyce's posts and site in particular because I have a lot of baggage around "smart girls" and the idea that "being a good mom" is intuitive first and foremost and that's not really my nature. So it was a breath of fresh air from the start to stumble into unschooling discussions that had strong, confident, women who were clearly Thinking about parenting, not just feeling their way along. In an unschooling discussion I've never felt I had to downplay Either the fact that I have brain Or that I love being a mom - what a luxury.

[Amy Jackson]

Although I am VERY new to the idea of radical unschooling, I want to add my thanks to Sandra, Joyce and Meredith. I went from a homeschooling mom who felt wrong about school to a Mindful Parent who is actively working on changing the way I think so I can show my dd the respect she deserves and allow her the freedom to make HER OWN choices. We are learning how to have a joyful home where everyone is important.

 

We would not be on this wonderful journey if not for the wisdom that you all have taken the time to share with others. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

[Kathy T.]

Absolutely a thank you from me and my family. What a journey our homeschooling experience has been and with all your help to where we are going from here! So, thank you all very much!!!
What a much needed thread!