Ok. I know the answer. Let her have them. Play with her with them. Let her love them. Let her be who she wants and don't make her ashamed or hide from you about who she wants to be. I agree. But the barbie dolls, the bratz dolls, hannah montanna???? PLEASE!!! HELP!!!!
naomi is 4 and we've never had disney princesses or barbie dolls or any of that crap in the house. that's because i was intent on not having them. i know. i'm a limiter. help me unlimit. but be nice. i've not been doing this unschooling thing more than 2 or 3 years and radical is just gaining traction. But i don't want the barbies and bratz and princesses!
I guess i should explain more, but it's a long story kind of. Anyway, she knows how i feel about them, she knows why. We talk about it every time we encounter them (everywhere!) And i know she is more interested in them because i've stopped them from coming in the house and made such a big deal about them. But what am i supposed to do??? I can't stand the images and what they stand for. There is research that shows that all kinds of body image problems come form playing with all these thin, sexed out dolls. And disney is full of terrible examples of girls and what they need and i've done a lot of research about it... it's awful... My thought process, and please, be gentle, is that if i can keep this crap away from her during these formative years, then when she finally gets the stuff that i've restricted it will be too late for it to have such a lasting negative effect ( i know, you'll say that my limiting her and making her hide a part of herself will have a much more lasting and negative effect than if i just let her have the dolls and movies)... or at that point she won't be interested... and finally... no one really knows ... i'm doing the best i can. my intentions are good and of course i'll be told i'm overlaying my fears... fears that my daughter will be sucked into the corporate commercialized culture and turn into a ditzy sexed up little doll herself. But of course no doll can do that, it's a doll coupled with a father or parents who don't give support and love which create that kind of situation, right? or something like that... ok.. .don't mean to answer for you all... being a bit of a wise ass...
BUT I DON"T WANT BARBIE!!!
so let's say i allow all the barbie she wants, well, of course then we get into another issue of how many barbie's? They cost money after all... there's another limit! But when they're in the house and she's all dolled up, what am i going to do? I have to pretend that it's all ok with me... "Oh sweety, it's ok, all that stuff i said about barbie dolls doesn't matter, you like them, i want you to be comfortable expressing yourself and if you love barbie and disney princesses than gosh darn, you should play with them... and you know what, i'll play with them with you. let's go girl." ????
see, it's a bit of a problem... another dilemma... how do you let the kids be who they want to be and still be honest.. which i assume you'd all agree is important too right? honesty? being real... i'm the one who puts up shows with naomi all the time and we make them up together and i speak for a lot of the characters... so what do i do now? I don't like barbie or princesses, i don't want to play with them... do i pretend that i do? do i put it on just for her? don't i count? radical unschooling isn't about making it ALL ABOUT THE KIDS with NO REGARD to us is it? I mean,,, if i'm going to spend all this time playing and putting up shows, shouldn't I, in the real world or real people, be entitled to be having fun too? Does naomi get to choose all the characters, all the topics, plots etc? Or are we being real? Here we are... two people. Daddy and Naomi. I get to say what i like to don't i? I don't want her to think that life is all about what she wants and no one else's desires should be taken into consideration right? I'm already doing a lot of stuff i wouldn't necessarily want to do if this weren't my daughter. Do i need to subjugate my will, my likes and dislikes entirely to please her? I'm a practicing buddhist but am I practicing total egolessness with my daughter? Is that teaching her a good lesson about dealing with the rest of the world? Do these question make sense to anyone in the context of the Barbie Dolls? Can anyone offer me some advice? Without too much condesention?
Thank you all in advance.