Hey parents. Today a (Buddhist) parenting group I am a part of had a guest facilitator that got me thinking. I was relating how I've tried to lighten up on my 2 1/2 year old about the "rule" of always having to hold hands in the parking lot; I realized that the point is safety, not holding hands when he really doesn't want to (he'll do it happily sometimes but not others). I know this is a typical situation, but he is very active, loves to run ahead, etc. so I've been trying to explain to him how we can be safe without holding hands, if he stays really close to me or just slightly behind me, or we can run together. The facilitator made the argument that at 2 1/2 he's not cognitively able to understand either my explanations or the fact that not holding hands could be unsafe. She suggested checking into some books on child development in general and just making him hold hands despite his vocal protests.
Ok, so my initial reaction is to take it with a grain of salt (she's a generation older than me) and continue to search for a solution that makes both me AND my son happy. But it did occur to me that checking into a book or two on typical toddler development wouldn't hurt me, and might help me to feel less frustrated in other situations, and able to reason with him better. It might give me insight into his behavior and better able to appeal to him, that kind of thing.
I loved Dr. Sears's Baby Book, but it only goes through age 2 and then he has lots of other books, but they're on particular subjects (i.e. discipline, nutrition) instead of being about cognitive/emotional development in general.
Does anyone have any good recommendations for books that go beyond the infant stage and that don't make you want to scream and pull your hair out (because of bad parenting advice, etc)? Thanks for reading!