OK, this issue has come up in the Sibling Rivalry thread so if anyone wants more background, you can start there.
The gist is that I am dealing with my husband's depression and it is making things hard around our house. So I guess I need ideas to deal with the depression and maybe ideas for my husband. He is on medication and tomorrow will be seeing a counselor. He has a history of depression and for us there has been this cycling for as long as we've been together. It was easier to deal with before kids, because I had more time and energy and just more of myself to give.
Now it is hard. I don't always realize when he is sliding into depression because his behavior LOOKS the same in the beginning - playing video games, reading, doing Sidoku, etc. The difference is that he is not finding any joy in these things and it takes me a while to figure that out. So at first it looks to me like he is being lazy and not helping with the chores because he is busy with his games. Then I finally figure it out and I quietly try to take care of things until it passes. But if it lasts long or gets worse, then I find myself getting angry and resentful.
At this point I think he needs love and affection and I am too angry to give that to him. I feel bad saying that and I know things shouldn't be like that, but they are. I am tired and worn out from picking up the slack. I don't know what to do for him. Letting him lie around all day doesn't work. I want to shake him and yell at him to get out of bed, but that won't work either. So I think that I need to try to include him more so he feels less isolated.
OK anyway I can't really write more, but I'm sure that others deal with this or with similar circumstances.