the network for radical unschooling families
We started unschooling about 5 years ago . It started with only the schooling part of our lives and since that seemed relatively easy for me to do I read more I tried to expand the same type philosophy into other parts of our lives ( chores , food , TV etc.) Thats where I have the problem. I can't seem to let go of traditional lines of thinking in some areas . The main question I am having is in regards to food choices.
I have let go in a false sense of the word . I did lift the restrictions but I don't feel like I really let go of it in my mind. I just don't buy stuff I don't want them eating alot of ( candies , cakes , soda's etc.) and since they just eat whatever is here they really don't say much. So I really haven't made the switch to letting go of restrictions I just found a way around it in a sense. I just don't trust the process.
My problem with it all boils down to me .... I ate lots of junk as a kid ( and loved it ) now as an adult I eat healthy and work out but I still really love "junk" and to be honest would eat nothing but junk all day , everyday , happily if I could. I love the flavor and taste of "junk" I only eat healthy because I have to for my health , not because I enjoy the flavor or food. . My fear with letting them eat what they want is based on , well , me. I see how hard it is for me to eat healthy when I really only want junk so how can I trust they will not eat junk 24/7 if when based on my past..I didn't learn that. I mean I know I eat healthy now and that is a choice , but its a choice based on fear of what I would look like or that I will have a heart attack from eating junk all the time not based on.." hey , I like this food ."
How do I let them eat whatever they want when I know I may be setting them up for a lifetime of crappy eating habits.
I don't think you should call anything "junk."
Giving them choices of what you have in the house is fine.
Make it interesting. Don't define some food as evil, because that in itself is a problem.
Negativity and fear are worse than "crappy eating habits."
The years they'll be eating and growing up should be enough time for you to change if you really look at what the possibilities and realities of choices and limitations are.
You said you ate lots of 'junk' as a child and believe that this is why you would prefer to eat it now.
But how did you feel about it at the time? Were you ashamed? Were there people around judging your choices?
Isn't it possible that you enjoy/crave these foods simply because you do and that maybe you would even if you were raised, for example, as a raw food vegan?
Maybe you're picturing replacing your healthy choices for them with "junky" kid choices. But in practice, a home with choice looks like Mom choices with other people adding their choices to the list.
OK .... This IS how I was seeing it ! I wasn't seeing it as an addition but more as a replacement of what I do now!
Excuse me while I muddle through the thoughts I was having...
I saw it more as : We go shopping and they happily go through the isles and just put only junk ( for the purpose of this post) in the cart and I left out everything else. I didn't buy what I usually bought , only what they wanted ( which in my thoought would only be "junk" ) .....Then we went home and I turned into a short order cook , cooking what everyone wanted at any given time ( or just never cooking again while they eat chips and twinkies forever) and if we happen not to have that in the house I needed to go right then and get it for them. And if they never wanted "healthy " food again , then so be it.
Now mind you I have read the links and many postings again and again from time to time ...and always I felt the same .I don't know why but this time I see it differently.
I can still cook as I always have just with them adding their choices to the cart. I don't have to stop cooking family meals. I can still cook all the meals as I do and offer it to them , just letting go of the expectation that they have to eat it .And giving them more choice in what I/we cook as a family. And if something they want isn't available I will try to get it for them when I can but it doesn't mean I have to have the whole food world on standby in my kitchen.
Sorry if I'm still muddled I'm still working through it in my head!