I need to vent :-)

[Joni]

I am new to this site and new to homeschooling. Rather than go through
the whole, long, drawn out story, I will just say (for now) that I
signed my son up with a "Parent Partnership Program" in Whatcom County
and I'm HATING it. Oh- and I'm a teacher. LOL I teach online college
courses. So- the students have an "e-survey" to fill out every week, to
fulfill their attendance requirement. The surveys, since October, have
gotten increasingly difficult for my 9 year old to answer. Each month
has a "theme" (this month's theme is "Social Studies") last week, one
of the first questions was, "Name two main problems in the world..." My
son is 9- how is he going to know the answer to that question? So then
he automatically said, "Mom, this question's kinda dumb- I don't get
it." How right he is. This week the topic is "History Tools" and the
first question is, "

"
Really???? My son is 9 years old! So, yes, you know what happened- he was even more frustrated than last week (I ended up
filling out his survey last week!). He is being "forced" to answer
questions he knows nothing about, he has no experience or interest in
(heck, I don't either!) and I am feeling angry and very rebellious!!!
:-) He is signed up for a "Computer Applications" class that begins
this Monday (the 22nd). HE picked it out and is pretty excited about
going. His attendance there will mean that we won't have to answer the
(dumb!!!) surveys anymore which is good.... the class is just M and W
for 55 minutes... We'll see how it goes. BUT- here's the catch: My
husband will not like it if I pull him out of this PPP. I think it's
like a "safety net" for him- a baby step, on the way to strictly
homeschooling. I keep talking to him about "unschooling" and how I have
learned such amazing things from all of you here, as well as other
blogs (Swiss Army Wife, Joyful Rejoicing, Sandra's site...). I need to
ease into Unschooling although my core philosophy is an unschooling
one; no wonder I hated my older boys being in public school and thought
I was going crazy!!! :-) Anyway, I'm just looking for advice or words
of wisdom for sticking it out/how to deal with it (just for this school
year- I really, really don't want to do the PPP next year) and any
advice about how to get my husband on board- are there any husbands who
weren't for it but are now? Resources for me to go to/ask/read... ??
Thank you so much for reading this! :-)

[Sandra Dodd]

As to the survey, I have a couple of things to say to soothe your jittery fears. In the school reform days, late 60's and early 70's, there was a lot of research into alternatives and into the problems of school. I was in education classes in the early 70's at the University of New Mexico, where The Open Classroom book had been written. The faculty there was a hotbed of school reform. They told us that tests should be learning opportunities. Any test from which a child didn't learn was basically an abuse. But if they DID learn, then it was not such a big deal if the school took the results and used them. (I'm paraphrasing, but that was the feel of it.)

So we were told only to design tests in such ways that they were interesting and fun and the kids learned.

If you go by that, then if you and your son go through the questions and you help him think of answers and he does the writing (or if it's computer entry you do it), don't feel one BIT guilty about that. If the school wants to use it to press you to teach what they want, or to make your son feel inferior, those uses aren't in keeping with natural learning. But if you use the questions as a time to discuss what schools try to get into people and why, and finding some answers (either rudimentary or sterling or humorous) to fill in there, he'll learn about those topics AND about school itself and public education. It doesn't have to be stressful if you make it fun and funny. Maybe invite friends over to help you brainstorm the answers.

-=-any
advice about how to get my husband on board- are there any husbands who
weren't for it but are now? -=-

All of them! And all the moms, if you look far enough back.

Just this week a dad who's an officer in the Navy wrote something very powerful:

http://seanheritage.blogspot.com/2010/02/waterpark-educational-deve...

I looked. You're in the northwest U.S. There's a conference in Vancouver in May.
http://unschooling.info/gatherings
If you have money or airline credit, consider the one in South Carolina, which is sooner.
If you go to one of those and want another one (less unschooling, but I'll be there), consider Sacramento in August.

But of those three, the Life is Good conference is nearest and soonish and there will be lots of dads there.

[Meredith]

When my stepson first moved (back) in with us after six years with his bio mom, he was still in school, and one of the things I did was to offer to do all his homework for him. It amazed me how trivial some of the garbage he was "required" to do was! Bleh. So I'd say that right out loud to Ray "this is really dumb" or "I can't believe you're required to do this!" I don't know if you've thought about agreeing with your son when he says "this is dumb" but it can go a long way toward helping your child see you as an ally. That's part of the transition to unschooling - developing that sense that you're on the same "side" as it were, rather than parents-vs-kids.

What helped my partner most, in terms of "getting on board" with unschooling was for me to give him the same kind of consideration I was trying to offer the kids! He even was so kind as to come out and say that once: "I have feelings too, you know!" Its a good reminder. Its especially hard when dads are in the sort of position where its easy to feel like all this "peace and freedom" for the kids is being built across their hard-working backs. It can help a whooooole lot to be sure to love up on your partner, let him know how very much you appreciate his work and dedication to the family.

[Joni]

Thanks for your replies and info. Meredith-I did tell my son I agreed that it was dumb also. I always felt like with my older boys, I did that too much. Now, I realize that it was completely fine. I always had a fear that because I didn't like what the school was doing to my kids, that my "attitude" would cause them to not like school and that would be MY fault. That's a bit humorous to me now. :-) That is good advice about my hubby too. I will have to sweeten him up. :-)
I love this, Sandra:
"But if you use the questions as a time to discuss what schools try to get into people and why, and finding some answers (either rudimentary or sterling or humorous) to fill in there, he'll learn about those topics AND about school itself and public education." That is so true and a great idea. THINK of all he could learn if we did that. It's strange- being a teacher- I now feel like I have to re-learn everything I was taught.
Again, thank you for your replies. :-)

[Joni]

Quest liked his first day of computer class. On the way home he said, "Do you know what the best thing about the teacher is?" I said, "No... what?" He said, "He doesn't yell at you if you work ahead or go faster. He doesn't say, 'Don't go too far ahead! Don't type that way! If you work ahead of the rest of the class, you will lose your computer privilege for the REST of the day! Use proper finger placement!!' " WOW. I had no idea he/his class got yelled at like that when he was in school. It's interesting what starts to "come out" when they are no longer made to go to school and they feel "safe." :-)