can anyone be brutally honest here?
can you please share some things that might not be so popular on this site?
i really, really, want to know
how unschoolers limit their children.
i want to know when things don't go the unschooling way...
when things get out of hand and controls are utilized and rules enforced
i am truly deeply curious about this because it represents a boundary
of lawlessness... like, where does the limitlessness break down
so to be specific, i'll ask some questions and i would greatly appreciate
anyone answering any of them, and i'd really like to hear from the people who
consider themselves dedicated radical unschoolers,
1) Does anyone have any rules? I'm especially interested in what people do about brushing teeth. Like in our house, there's a basic rule... the kids must brush their teeth in the morning and night. So far, i'm doing the brushing. But if my 4 year old whines about it and tries to get away, i explain why we brush, what cavities are, and if necessary, i show her my fillings. Now of course i can hear someone saying that i am operating out of fear and imposing my own fear based philosophy on my children. As far as i'm concerned i'm acting out of reality and imposing a strictly scientific rule to avoid tooth decay and painful dental procedures (that cost a lot of money too) This would be a great one for people to respond to. Anyone not force brushing? Anyone who does? Why? How? Explanation? Details... stories? I'd love to hear...
2) What limits can you think of that you impose on your children? What limits did you used to impose but worked through and stopped imposing? What limits did you consider and try to avoid but ended up sticking with? Limits about tv? bedtime? wake time? phone time? money spending? money making (anyone use chores for payment? anyone pay their children for anything? give allowance?) any limits on buying things? on food? on language? on books? on sexual content or discussion or sex in the house? anything you can think of would be helpful as a study in how to define limits and radical unschooling for me, and i'm sure for others too...
3)what are your doubts, if any, about the path you've chosen and the decisions you've made? Any experiences that have shown you that you've made the wrong decision? Any radical changes because of experiences? Anything you wish you would have done earlier, or not done? Any area of the freedoms you've offered your children that you think differently of now, or that you've curtailed? anyone see any problems coming from certain freedoms?
4) and also... when have you lost it? have you ever just had enough? has pushing the envelope on limitlessness ever become too much? have you ever raised your voice? physically removed a child from a situation because of acting out of control? become angry? gotten really frustrated? felt justified in the anger? felt taken advantage of? felt like radical unschooling was all a big mistake?
i hope someone can answer some of these questions... i'm not looking to punch holes in the argument for unschooling but i think it would be helpful to have a clear and brutally honest picture of how radical notions can stir up radical responses or just helping to see where the challenges lie... i hope they are helpful for others too to consider... i love this forum and am thankful for all the replies. thanks... and of course, if anyone has anything to add to this i'd love to read... i'm just trying to get a overhead view of what limits might look like in radical unschooling... where are they? what are they... why? how?