Naked toddlers, cold, grandparents

[Margaret Yoder]

Hi all,

My 24 month old daughter is in the stage of loving to wear as little as possible.  I can generally get her to wear a pullup diaper, if I wait until she's ready, or turn on a cartoon to distract her when I put it on. But mostly she doesn't want to wear other clothes.  This is generally okay with me, and she will allow me to dress her when we need to go out.

 

The last few days we've had a bit of a thaw here in Ohio, and it's been in the 40's to 50's. Each morning she goes out on the front porch and dances around in circles, nude from the waist down. This morning she did it even though it was only 34 degrees out. I was standing inside by the front door watching her, and she'd come in every few laps around the front porch, grin at me, and go out again. But it was very cold, and her fingers and toes were turning red with cold.  I stepped away from the door for a moment, and heard her dad pleading with her that it's cold out, blah, blah, blah, and then I heard crying and sobbing as he dragged her in.  This is pretty typical, he forces her to do lots of things that I would give her a choice about.

 

Also, I've been struggling with my feelings about how warm my in-laws feel she should be, since the day she was born.  They live right next door, and we visit often, and nearly every time we see them, in cool or cold weather, there's a comment about how she is dressed and whether her fingers feel warm or cool.  I am an irritable person and I used to let each one of these comments make me furious for about a whole day - I'm not nearly as upset about it now, but I still wonder if I should sit them down and discuss it.  I'm hesitant and nervous to do it, obviously.

 

This child has never been cold in her life. Not to the point of shivering. She's as healthy as a horse, so there are no worries there.  I want to give her the choice of whether she wants to feel cold sometimes (obviously she sort of likes it!) and I guess I need some confidence that this is normal and healthy before I can sit my family down and talk to them about it.  Grandma is extremely sensitive to the cold, I know.  I personally am probably less sensitive to cold than most people, and it seems to me that my daughter is too. Grandma seems to believe that cold causes colds and sore throats and ear infections and whatever else. I don't believe that cold causes any of these things, at least not for most people. I don't want to invalidate Grandma's experiences of having cold make her feel sick, of course.

 

Do a lot of children like to play in the cold like this? How can you tell if a child is too cold? Are they always able to tell?  I often ask my dd, "Are you cold, do you want pants?"  Very rarely she'll say yes, 95 percent of the time she says no and seems fine.  She doesn't talk yet, but she understands just about everything and is able to sign a lot of things.

 

Thanks!

[Meredith]

Its really very common for little kids to run around naked (when they can). In rural Tennessee, where I live, people still talk about country kids, girls and boys, being allowed to run around bare bottomed. Of course, its warmer here than were you live, but red fingers and toes aren't a big deal on their own, and kids Do notice when they're getting Too cold.

 

If you're worried, its better to lure her inside with hot coco or some other warm treat than fight about it. But if a warm treat isn't enough to bring her in, she's probably fine. My kids have played in the local creeks in the winter, here - makes me shiver just to think about it, but we've never once had a problem from cold. Just last weekend, in fact, I went hiking with a crowd of people with kids and ended up at a lake - it wasn't too cold, but there was snow on the ground and kids took off shoes and socks and waded in the water until they complained of the cold and got out. They Did complain and get, though! And despite the snow, no-one got frost bitten or so much as a sniffle.

[Cindy Miller]

I have struggled in this area with my youngest son.  I get cold very easily and so I am forever saying he needs to wear a jacket.  I have finally realized (with hubby's help) that each of us has a different tolerance for temperature.  So, I no longer insist on him wearing a jacket....we compromise and I ask him to bring it along in case he changes his mind.  Now we live in Southern CA so granted it is not usually cold here but we do get our rainy and cooler days. 

 

I was raised to believe that cold weather causes colds too but it is being closed up inside sharing the germs that generally does it so I think your daughter going out in the cold is probably helping her NOT to get sick!  Does she notice temperature changes say when she bathes?  Hot vs cold water?  If so, then I would say she will know if she is too cold. And I agree with Meredith that kids love to run around naked! 

[Alex Polikowsky]

My daughter still runs around naked in the winter and I live in Minnesota!

 I keep my house under 65 degrees and she is always naked.

Because I live out in the country I do not have to worry about neighbours and she runs to get dressed if someone comes to the door or we have visitors.

  "Hey I am cold go put a jacket on!"

[Amanda Mendenhall]

I am sooo glad someone posted about this!  I have a 2 year old and she is always naked. I worry bout her being cold but I offer her pants and she says no so I move on. The only time I stress clothing is if we are going out or if someone comes to the house or to play outside. I know she wishes she could play outside nude but I am afraid what others would say. Grandparents live across the street and they already comment about how she is nude too much. I don't want to force her to wear clothing and I want her to feel free and comfortable no matter what she is wearing or the lack there of. :)

My oldest son doesn't want jackets and wants to wear shorts in the winter. I couldn't understand this as I can be wearing sweets and long johns and still be freezing!  I am trying to grasp the idea that we all handle temps differently. I keep the house at 68 to save money so I am always asking if they are cold or if they need to put something on.

Speaking of nudity is there an age you say, okay...enough is enough you must wear clothing? Just wondering.

[Frank Maier]

Our basic home is in the Greater Seatle area which is temperate and when my girls were young, they liked to be naked here, even when I wanted a heavy jacket. One year we lived in Destin, FL. on the beach. They REALLY liked to stay naked there. They're now older teens and, obviously, didn't die of frostbite or hypothermia in those early years. Enjoy her pleasure embracing the elements, even when it's not in your comfort zone.

[Margaret Yoder]

I'm doing pretty well getting used to it myself... I just wish I had something scientific-sounding to tell my husband and in-laws. 

 

Come summer, I'm probably going to post about dealing with my fears about too much sunshine! They make you (me) afraid of everything these days!

[Meredith]

Speaking of nudity is there an age you say, okay...enough is enough you must wear clothing?

 

Depends on where you live - there Are laws and some of them basically use the discomfort of others as the benchmark. If the neighbors complain, its time to close the drapes and invest in a security fence, at the very least. When Mo was 4 there was a day she was playing with some friends at a house in town - running naked through the sprinklers with two other girls about the same age - and the neighbors called the police. So after that the girls wore swimsuits at that house, or played in a more secluded yard.

 

Kids get there on their own, though, even if you live in the back of beyond surrounded by mostly naked hippies (I can attest to this). Generally its somewhere around puberty - all of a sudden your baby doesn't want to be naked and may not want you to be naked either. Some kids get body shy earlier, though - Mo started wanting everyone to cover up when she was 8 and will cover her eyes if I so much as change socks in front of her. She's a little quirky, though.

[Alex Polikowsky]

I grew up in Brazil and kids are naked in Brazil at the beach until 3 or 4. Girls did not wear bikini tops until they were 8 or 9 in my time. I am sure things have changes butg it can also be cultural.

Oh and most people think that nudity is big at the beaches in Brazil and that is not true.

Very very small bikinis and bikini tops but  nutidy is frowned upon. YOu need that little smal piece of fabric covering the bare necessities over there!

Girls do not go topless to the beach at all, if you find someone topless you can bet it is a turist.

But  people do not have all the hang ups about  kids being naked there as they have here.

[Kristin]

My daughter is 8 and still runs around naked inside as much as possible. She'll get dressed when people come over, but even when playing with her girl friends she often ends up in just her undies. We have neighbors close by, so outside nakedness is limited to our deck which is closed off from anyone seeing her.

When she was 6 1/2 we went to an outside summer festival. She had on a dress and I had brought pants in case she got cold. Well, there was a fountain/sprinkler thing that a bunch of kids were playing in and she went and got all wet. When we were ready to go, she was chilled and wanted to get out of her wet dress. I didn't have another shirt, so we put her pants on and she went shirtless back to the car. We got some interesting looks from people but I figured that there were boys running around without shirts and even now she doesn't look any different.