the network for radical unschooling families

Need some advice... please?

Hello to everyone,

I am new to this group. I will tell you a bit about us and then I will ask you a couple of questions, two doubts that are burning me every day since we started homeschooling.

My husband, our three sons (15, 10 and 7) and I recently moved to Chile from Florida, USA. They do not speak Spanish, as I do, having been born in Venezuela. Our children had been going to public schools since they have the age to go. The results, specially with my oldest son, is a mess: low grades, super low self-steem and an angry personality. He was label "ADD" too. He hates school and learning. I took him out of school in MARCH this year, 2 month before we moved to Chile. Then our deschooling phase started...

Now in Chile, in Santiago, we are ...well, exploring our HS options. In Chile HS is legal, to a certain extent. You can educate your kids at home and if you want them to be "on track" with the rest of the children out there, your kids can take tests each year to comply with the educational system. You can take this tests each year or skip and take just one at the end of "highschool" age too.

In our case, my children do not want to go to school nor they want to do anything that looks like school at home. So we decided to try to the unschooling route, because it seems right to me in my heart. They love the idea of doing anything thay want to do. And they are.. and this is the result: they play video games ALL DAY LONG. The little ones play Playstation 3, and the oldest plays with his Flight Simulator game in out laptop all day. He wants ot be a pilot. He seems more relaxed now though...

I am really worried about the path they chose to spend all their daily hours! Is it OK just to let them play video games all day, though? My schooled-for-years mind tells me to do something, to try to make them read a book or do some experiments, or something!! I feel a little anxious one day, and them OK the next, and back to fearsome the next, and so on... What if they want to go to college one day... if they never study for those tests, how would they pass and go on to college?

Also, because we are not going to school, I see that they dont make any effort to try to learn the Spanish language either. I try to encourage them by speaking to them in Spanish, but they refuse to answer back in Spanish , hate reading anything in Spanish, and do not want to watch TV in Spanish, or even try to speak with anybody. I am little frustrated.

I guess I need to encouragement, some advice. Unshcooling feels right in my heart, but my mind tells me to try to do something else, to help them "learn".

Hope this is not too long and thanks, from my heart,

Karin

Tags: Worry, college, fear, games, new, to, unschooling, video

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Permalink Reply by Sandra Dodd on September 24, 2010 at 10:31am

-=- Is it OK just to let them play video games all day, though?-=-

Yes. It won't last forever.

-=-My schooled-for-years mind tells me to do something, to try to make them read a book or do some experiments, or something!! -=-

Your schooled mind also knows that when someone tries to make people read a book or do some experiments or something, they end up... wait, how did you put it in the very same post? " super low self-steem and an angry personality. He was label "ADD" too. He hates school and learning."

So you don't want to put more of THAT into the situation.

-=-I took him out of school in MARCH this year, 2 month before we moved to Chile. Then our deschooling phase started... -=-

March of this year to now is only three school-months. He's fifteen. He needs TEN months (summer didn't count; he earned that summer off by going to most of last year's school year).

As to college, if he had low grades and his self-esteem was in the toilet, that wasn't about to happen easily anyway.

Leave him alone for a year. Not "alone"--feed him. :-) Be nice to him. Don't talk about school, or tests, or college. Don't even mention it. Seriously. Every time you do, deschooling starts over.

It takes longer for the parents than for the kids, too.

I think waiting a while on Spanish is important, too. Let them recuperate from the changes and the move.

-=-What if they want to go to college one day... if they never study for those tests, how would they pass and go on to college?-=-

IF they want to go, then they will figure out how to take the tests. And they will probably to MUCH better than you would guess even with no "test preparation" at all, from things they learn from playing games and hanging out and talking to you (speak English to them if it's for the purposes of relationship-building and communication, or else language will be a chasm between you instead of a bridge).

-=-: they play video games ALL DAY LONG. The little ones play Playstation 3, and the oldest plays with his Flight Simulator game in out laptop all day. -=-

As to video games, if World of Warcraft is available to you there, maybe your oldest would like it. Maybe YOU would like it! Several unschooling moms have started playing with their kids. It's an online interactive game, so he would be playing with others, as he gradually moved more into the game, and there would be languages used to communicate within it. Don't press him to play in Spanish. He might be able to get to people playing in English, or mixed language games. But if he does that he'll be interacting with others and using language in writing or on a headset.

There are other such games. Halo and I don't know what all. If you or your husband plays with him, that will be good for your adult deschooling, and for the relationship and for your appreciating his abilities, I think!