New from NC

[Katherine]

I'm Katherine and my husband Michael and I are happy parents of Oliva (19 months old) and another one is on the way in 10 weeks!

For years I worked with children in different setting because I wanted to learn as much as I could. Mostly, I learned what conventional attitudes toward children and parenting methods are, tried many of them out, and finally came to see that I didn't like the person I became, and frankly those methods didn't work!

I was homeschooled myself in 7th, 8th, and part of 9th grade to avoid a dangerous school in Atlanta and so I've known I wanted to homeschool my children when I had them. Now that I have a little one I've begun doing more research and I feel so incredibly blessed to have found all this wonderful information about RU. It brings together the educational aspect of homeschooling and has given me paradigm shift after paradigm shift in regards to parenting methods.

It all began with a friend giving me an iPod she won since she already had one. Then I checked out iTunes, started searching around for podcasts, and then devoured, one after the other, from "Relaxed Homeschooler" (which is how I found this group), and also from "Humans Being." Every time I'd listen to one I had a huge "aha" moment, and I kept running to the computer to bookmark some new page to explore.

Then it turned into reading this list for hours, and I just might be half-way through Sandra Dodd's page. There's more in my bookmark folder I've titled "Unschooling." I've burned through several books by Aflie Kohn, Naomi Aldort, Rue Kream, re-read some John Holt, etc. that you guys in the know have mentioned.

This is a side note, but growing up my dad would buy a box of cookies, let my brother and I have a couple, which was never enough, and then eat the whole box by himself. My little girl gets as many as she wants and it makes her so happy and me so happy to be able to give her that freely. I wouldn't have such confidence without RU ideas.

Anyway, we live in NC, my husband is a guitarists, both jazz and classical. I love to knit, spin wool, read, and get to know Olivia. Michael and I have both been unschooling ourselves since we graduated from college and our lives are so full now as we explore our loves. We're both active in two churches (one is our home church, and the other Michael works at with the campus ministry of WCU).

I would love to hear from anyone else in the area. I know there's a homeschooling group here that is very conservative Christian and school-at-home-ish, but I would love to meet other unschoolers here! Also, the "plan" right now is to have five kids. Anyone with that many (or more) have any suggestions? I want to share these ideas with family and friends. Any suggestions on how to do this in a non-threatening way? Maybe you have some experiences that went well/ badly with sharing these radical ideas?

Thanks for reading this incredibly long post! And thank you to everyone who shares their lives with strangers so that life can be better for our children.

[Sandra Dodd]

I have a small set of ideas about sharing the ideas with others. But while yours are little, especially, I recommend just saying things like "We're going to try this," or "If this quits working we'll do something different."

http://sandradodd.com/relatives/
http://sandradodd.com/relatives/differences
http://sandradodd.com/relatives/responding

[Katherine]

Thanks for the links, Sandra!. I really liked the mass e-mail idea to respond to those who disagree as well as those who may be sympathetic to this lifestyle. I definitly know some people that I will not ever be discussing any of these ideas with. I love and embrace the Certificate of Empowerment.

I had in mind two families that I would like to share these ideas with because I think they might be receptive to them. One of them is my sister-in-law and fortunately my husband's whole family are open to new ideas and respectful discussion. The other family are good friends of ours who have just decided to homeschool their girls and have two younger boys as well.

Does anyone else have situations where they were able to share ru ideas with possibly receptive people? It's just that here I am with a toddler and I'm wanting to tell parents of 7 and 5 year olds about these ideas and I don't want to come accross as some kind of know it all! Thanks so much.

[Alex Polikowsky]

I have shared with my sister from the beggining but it has taken her years to be able to implement some of it. She could understand and agree with what I was saying but she just could not completely process it.
She has improved so much in the last 6 and a half years.
So just don't give up but be gentle.
Also I had friends I thought would jump on the band wagon but they just did not.
They acually got worse as their kids got older and in some cases it breaks my heart.
Having said that there are unschoolers in NC and SC !!!
There is a group that I hear about in Raleight and one in Charlotte and I know of at least a family in Greensboro.
Maybe join a local list or is there a NC list in here?Check it out!
Good luck!

[Katherine]

I read somewhere, or maybe it was in one of the "Humans Being" podcasts, that once you embrace ru ideas, you start to see controlling, rude, uncaring parental behavior everywhere. It's happening to me now at the park and the grocery store and with some of the problems kids in our church youth group are having with their parents. I just want to scream!

I know that I have to share this great way of thinking/living/relating with those I love. Thanks for the encouragement to be gentle, and also for encouraging me to be patient. I know it took a process for me to be ready to hear all this stuff, and others need time too.

I joined the Cackalaky group, but so far not many responses. I'm in western NC, in the mtns. Anyone near Asheville? That's the closest bigger area to me.

[Alex Polikowsky]

I just say that because you will be disapointed a lot that I have been where you are. It is so exciting to "see" things the way you are seeing now and at the same time its hard.
Nowadays I don't share much unless I feel the person is interested in it and I feel that its going to go somewhere even if just a little.

I know there are unschoolers near Ashville.
Too bad last year was the last Live and :Learn Unschooling Conference ( last 2 years it was held at the Blue Ridge Aseembly in Black Mountain).
But I know there are several wonderful families in that area or within less than 3 hours away you have lots to do.
Have you check the ARGH on the events here in this site. I think it is somewhat near you ...well within a few hours.
I also love The Natural Child for young kids. Lots of great reading from people you already like.

[Katherine]

I'm from Sylva, in Jackson County, about 2 ish hours from you! I looked up NC Unschoolers on yahoo groups and didn't find anything by that name. I did find an Asheville Unschoolers group and joined up right away. Thanks for the the suggestion!

[Tara]

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/NCUnschoolers/?yguid=326673790

Here is the link to NCunschoolers. :-)

[Katherine]

Thanks for the link!