Special Needs Question

[Carrie Labinski]

Hi,

I have been unschooling my 7 year old daughter for a year and she is doing very well with it. She loves to draw and write books and she learned to read when I stopped pushing it. LOL!

I have a 20 month old son with has Down Syndrome. A year ago we enrolled him in a program with NACD (National Association for Child Development - www.nacd.org). It's a great program for him. He was enrolled in our state program which is more skills-based whereas NACD focuses on neurodevelopment. It's an intensive program stimulating his brain in various ways.

The exercises at NACD are based on where he's at. For instance, to help him crawl (very important for Down syndrome kids to cross-crawl) we move his arms/legs so the brain gets used to that and eventually he does it on his own. And he is now. We do flash cards (which some may cringe at) but it does increase his vocabulary - the cards we use are only things in his everyday life which he is interested in. NACD is big on holding their interest - otherwise it's no use right?

I feel that I have two very different things going on for my kids - one doing the unschooling and one in this structured program. Both kids have different needs with my son's special needs necessitating more help with his education. I suppose we could not have him in any program to help him along but I want to do everything I can to help him be all he can be. They are ok with typical kids unschooling - as long as they can read and do math (which all kids do eventually right?)

My question: Do you think having him in NACD is ok (being highly structured) if it's working for him?

Thank you for your opinions - I am brand new to your network.

[Victoria L Sweeney]

Children with special needs do so well with structure! It's also helpful if it puts YOUR mind at ease. You have a huge job ahead of you and you need to do what is comfortable for both of you. So go ahead and do just what you are doing. Who knows- this may work for now, later on something else may sound better and you may want to switch to that. Later something else will pop up and you'll even want to change to that instead- it's okay. It's okay to change your mind several times! Enjoy each step, yet don't be afraid to change up each time you find something better. After all, we learn, things change, things improve, things get worse- in other words, life is constantly changing and we do well to adjust along the way, right?

I have a child with Landau-Kleffner Syndrome and two "typical" kids. They've been schooled and unschooled quite differently from one another and I've changed my methods along the way several times, each time changing according to what I thought was best for them at the time. Looking back, I have no regrets.

[Carrie Labinski]

Hi Victoria,

Thank you for your email! I clicked on the first "Reply to This" and I hope this reply gets to you ok - I'm brand new to the Network. Maybe you could be so kind as to let me know that you got it so I know that I'm doing things correctly. :)

Your words were very encouraging! I don't know anyone else doing unschooling and raising a special needs child - thank you so much for your response. How long have you been unschooling your typical children? I've been unschooling my daughter for 1 year - she just turned seven. It's getting easier and easier I think.

Can you tell me what Landau-Kleffner Syndrome is? How old is your child with this syndrome? I've been learning more and more about other things out there that affect our children. I'm also seeing the blessings too! Look forward to hearing from you.

Victoria L Sweeney said:

Children with special needs do so well with structure! It's also helpful if it puts YOUR mind at ease. You have a huge job ahead of you and you need to do what is comfortable for both of you. So go ahead and do just what you are doing. Who knows- this may work for now, later on something else may sound better and you may want to switch to that. Later something else will pop up and you'll even want to change to that instead- it's okay. It's okay to change your mind several times! Enjoy each step, yet don't be afraid to change up each time you find something better. After all, we learn, things change, things improve, things get worse- in other words, life is constantly changing and we do well to adjust along the way, right?

I have a child with Landau-Kleffner Syndrome and two "typical" kids. They've been schooled and unschooled quite differently from one another and I've changed my methods along the way several times, each time changing according to what I thought was best for them at the time. Looking back, I have no regrets.

[sarina]

hi,
I have one child completely autonomous and one that is structured. My daughter is structured at a internet school because that is the way she chooses to learn, so I feel I am supporting both of them in their own learning style. Both children have ASD.
If it is working well for him, and he is enjoying himself, I would leave him to continue his education in that way, until he says otherwise.
best of luck.

[Meredith]

Do you think having him in NACD is ok (being highly structured) if it's working for him?

Some kids have bigger needs than others, need more of your time and help and input, and sometimes kids' needs really are too big for parents to handle on their own. Don't beat yourself up for needing help.

That being said, its good to consider just how and how much whatever you've chosen to do is actually helping. There are ways to create more of a routine at home, be more organized at home, for instance, if those are things that help your son (they don't help every child with special needs though). There may be ways for you to help your son get the physical and mental exercise he needs at home too. I'm not saying its necessarily better for you to do that, just that those are other options that can be on the table if the arrangement you have isn't working or stops working.

"Working" doesn't just mean for your son, either. If its a hassle for the rest of the family - a drain on your energy and/or your daughter's for instance - then the situation isn't working and its time to look for other solutions.

I want to do everything I can to help him be all he can be

All kids, all people, want to feel good, want to feel competent. Its possible to work on helping your son feel as competent and as good about himself as he can - to help him to shine! without involving him in programs. Again, I'm not saying that's necessarily better, but it could be. Its something to think about. It might take more research and work and involvement than is feasible for you. It might be too physically taxing. It might be too hard for you to help without pushing. Those could all be reasons to get help from outside sources.

[Victoria L Sweeney]

Landau-Kleffner is quite a dandy thing. It's so detailed and difficult to explain. In a nutshell, I'd describe it this way- when he turned 5, he regressed back to a 1 yr old. Add seizures, violence, and a loss of ability to speak or understand language. He's come a long way, though! He is now 15 years old and has his language abilities back!

I've been unschooling for about 14 years. LOVE it! I must admit that I've gone back and forth once in a while, though. When well meaning friends/family have gotten on my case, I've gone back to traditional schooling at home, but always to return to unschooling. It's so much more fun.

Carrie Labinski said:

Hi Victoria,

Thank you for your email! I clicked on the first "Reply to This" and I hope this reply gets to you ok - I'm brand new to the Network. Maybe you could be so kind as to let me know that you got it so I know that I'm doing things correctly. :)

Your words were very encouraging! I don't know anyone else doing unschooling and raising a special needs child - thank you so much for your response. How long have you been unschooling your typical children? I've been unschooling my daughter for 1 year - she just turned seven. It's getting easier and easier I think.

Can you tell me what Landau-Kleffner Syndrome is? How old is your child with this syndrome? I've been learning more and more about other things out there that affect our children. I'm also seeing the blessings too! Look forward to hearing from you.

Victoria L Sweeney said:

Children with special needs do so well with structure! It's also helpful if it puts YOUR mind at ease. You have a huge job ahead of you and you need to do what is comfortable for both of you. So go ahead and do just what you are doing. Who knows- this may work for now, later on something else may sound better and you may want to switch to that. Later something else will pop up and you'll even want to change to that instead- it's okay. It's okay to change your mind several times! Enjoy each step, yet don't be afraid to change up each time you find something better. After all, we learn, things change, things improve, things get worse- in other words, life is constantly changing and we do well to adjust along the way, right?

I have a child with Landau-Kleffner Syndrome and two "typical" kids. They've been schooled and unschooled quite differently from one another and I've changed my methods along the way several times, each time changing according to what I thought was best for them at the time. Looking back, I have no regrets.