The Vitamin Water Dilema

[Slinky]

I like orange vitamin water. It makes me feel good and healthier when I drink it so I like to have one a day and I start to feel yucky both physically and mentally when I don't. Possibly having to do with vitamin c and b complex intake. The family likes orange as well as a variety of other flavors. So I try to keep it on hand and stock up when its on sale.

Here is the issue. If I only buy orange as we will all drink it I soon hear complaints that we only have orange to drink. If I buy a variety of flavors everyone drinks all the orange leaving only the other flavors. I don't like most of the other flavors the family likes.

This leaves me very frustrated and a tad resentful as while I don't mind them drinking the orange I do mind them drinking all the orange and not the other flavors when they like the other flavors and ask for them leaving me with only things I don't like to drink till we can afford to go to the store again. I can not afford to purchase such a large quantity that they could not possibly drink all the oranges before I can replace them except on extremely rare occasion when it goes on some freaky clearance type sale and even then the same thing happens it just takes longer for me to run out.

I make sure I also have a bunch of other drink options that they enjoy on hand like juice pouches, soda, and a variety of drink mixes most of which I also am not fond of so having other choices is not the issue.

So how can I keep everyone happy here?

[Deborah Cunefare]

Is there a reason your supply of orange can't be in a different place than the family supply of mixed flavors plus extra orange?

[Slinky]

I only have one fridge? Though that is not a bad thought. If I can manage to get all our stuff from storage put away I will have to see if I can maybe find space for a little fridge or something in my room. I could probably find one for not so much on Craig's list. Maybe going away to university presents that end up not being needed or something.

Thing is this is not a one shot issue. This just happens to be the one that was clear and concrete and frustrating me at the moment having just moved all our stuff in and being rather thirsty and knowing I bought drinks I like only to find there was a fridge full of drinks the family likes but nothing for me. We have the same issue with food I buy for when the kids want to eat things I can't eat like pizza and Mac and cheese and potato soups and well anything with with dairy which they love. They will want to eat the foods I get for myself till they are gone then I am left with nothing nice or that I like when they want pizza which I loved. This happens even during march when I fill the freezer with cheap microwave meals.

I have tried finding things they don't like that I like to have around for when they want dairy meals which I thought would be easy given they seem to hate most the things I cook that I love and can eat. But I am very limited in the quick fixing one person meal choices without dairy and they seem to like all the ones I find that I like. Part of me resents having to buy food they hate in order to have something other then a sandwich when they have food I cook for them that I used to love but cant have anymore and no lactaide and other such products do not work for me.

[Joyce Fetteroll]

I think it would help you to move toward happiness to take your focus off the kids being the cause. Food runs out. If you want to eat it, it needs replaced regardless of who caused it or why.

As for the vitamin water, why store it all in the refrigerator? Put a huge stock of orange (when you're able to afford it) in the closet. Buy individuals of the other flavors. Keep the refrigerator replenished with a variety of flavors, including orange.

Let them know you're frustrated to be hungry and find a refrigerator full of food you can't eat and you'd like to find a solution. Ask them for ideas. Try them out. Make the kids part of the solution rather than turning them into the problem.

One solution -- though not the only one -- you could keep a supply of your own food -- dried or in cans, including some orange water -- somewhere else so it's not out where the kids will be tempted to grab it when they're hungry. Let them know you're doing this! You're not trying to be sneaky or creating a challenge for them to get around.

(If they get into your stash without asking, then there are deeper problems that need worked on.)

Another idea would be to ask them to ask before they take non-dairy food. A "Well, it's my last one and there's still 3 days before we can go shopping," should be a good enough reason to choose something else.

(Again, if it's not enough, then the kids are used to fighting to get their needs met and don't feel their needs are respected. They can't respect others if they don't feel respected themselves. It may take some digging to figure out where the disconnection is.)

Treat them as though they are compassionate and do care about you and just don't realize what they're doing. Help them find ways to meet their needs that takes everyone into account.