Titanic movie...

[Karen N]

Titanic movie (the most recent one) was on the other day and we all ended up watching it together - me dh and ds who is just 4. Its a bit harrowing at times in it and sad when Jack dies and there is a bit of a love scene in it - we watched it together talked about it and tommorow we are going to the museum where there is some stuff on it and a model of the ship and someone doing a bit of a talk on it and the sinking. I kept checking if ds wanted to carry on watching it and he said he did and was really engrossed - i was quite impressed by his concentration actually cos its a long film with lots of diolouge bits etc. Anyway, i could tell he was a bit upset at the end but i can just tell cos i know him - he doesnt like to talk about it at all when he is upset and doesnt really show it if that makes any sense and just tells me to shut up if i ask if he is ok.

Anyway - mother in law was expressing concerns that we let him watch it cos it was rather harrowing - i was wondering the same thing as we were watching it - i'm sure i've seen this issue being addressed somewhere in the discussions - could someone point me in the right direction if this topic has already been discussed - i mean when kids wanna watch stuff that is above thier age range and could be quite upsetting or violent or whatever.

I feel like we did the right thing letting him watch it and we are following up on it finding out more about it and stuff and he is interested -what do you think?

[Linda]

Hi there- I definitely think you did the right thing- he was obviously fascinated by the whole story, and although it was sad, he will have gotten the 'feel' of the historical event, which was most definitely sad! I know people who criticised me letting my young son watch this movie because of the 'love scene' in the car on board the ship- but it didn't have huge significance for him because he was young. He must have been 8 or 9 at the time. But watching that movie led to a huge fascination with the history of the Titanic, which in turn led to interest in other shipwrecks, which led to deep sea diving, which then led to learning all about sharks and other interesting sea creatures. So one little movie led to a whole lot of learning!

[angie]

i think as long as you sit with him and become fully involved, cuddling him at the sad/scary bits (if he'll let you) explaining what it is he is seeing in language appropriate to his age and understanding...
if he is anything like my son he likes to process what he has experienced for a day or two then the questions start
and remember he will have a totally different concept of what is going on to your mother in law, he will still be into magical thinking, i also think from what you are saying it has become a spring board for discovery!

[Bea Marshall]

as a side note, my little boy (just turned 5 last week) asked to watch Juno with his daddy. he absolutely loved it and asked lots of questions about emotions all the way through. he also asked some questions about giving birth as well. he then asked to watch it with me and we had a lovely time. it was quite a brave step for me - i trust that films have certification for a reason and often i am surprised films don't carry higher ratings! but we trusted it and it was great.

[Karen N]

Thank you all for your reassuring responses! I feel better about it now!

[Bonnie]

Titanic is definitely sad, but so are plenty of movies that are designed with kids in mind, and many kids end up watching those all alone because their parents assume anything made for kids is happy and cheery. Think how many kids were traumatized by Bambi or Old Yeller or the Lion King or whatever - many didn't have an adult next to them waiting to give them a hug when a beloved character died. I remember being totally freaked out by Pollyana as a kid, and no one even died in that! But I doubt your MIL would be concerned if you let them watch those movies, because they're seen as "kid friendly". It's just the idea that Titanic is "for adults" that trips people up, I think.

Kids are going to encounter sad things in life, and you can't learn anything about history without being sad, if you have any sort of conscience or empathy. It's a lot healthier for a small child to realize the world is sad sometimes while he's safe in his home surrounded by loving family, than it is for him to grow up in a fake bubble of sugar-coated happy sunshine (like the houses where nothing is allowed except for things like Dora the Explorer) and then get suddenly blindsided by real life sadness later on, without having had any preparation in how to handle it.

[Karen N]

Bonnie, that was a really thoughtful and interesting response - I'd not thought about it that way - i remember being about 14 and crying in and after 'honey i shrunk the kids' cos the ant died - i was laughing at myself at the same time as crying! Must of been hormonal or something!