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What If Sometimes We Know What They Need Better Than They Do?

My son (age 11) has been staying up very late (12, 1, 2). And then, of course, he's been sleeping in. And I think that's great. I'm a night owl, so I understand.

It's all going well, except for the days he sleeps in very late. Like 10:30 or 11am. He wakes up grumpy and disoriented. He wanders aimlessly about. I can tell he's not happy with how he's feeling. We talk and he agrees that he doesn't like sleeping in that late. I suggest he go to bed a bit earlier, so he can be awake a little earlier. He likes that idea. Most days he needs 9-10 hours of sleep. So we come to this agreement, which we have done before. But then he falls back into this habit again, of going to bed too late and waking up too late.

So, if I see that this pattern, and know what is going to happen if he falls back into it, shouldn't I keep him from it by reminding him that it's the bedtime we agreed on? I have more experience with bad habits than he does, and I can see them starting. I also know that even adults need gentle reminders when we start to fall back into default mode, and get back into our old habits.

Just wondering what an Radical Unschooler would do....?

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Permalink Reply by Marilyn Shannahan on December 12, 2010 at 4:33pm

also, most people are not chipper upon first waking no matter what time of day. Maybe he just needs time and space before he is ready to answer questions or have a full on conversation.

Marilyn Shannahan said:

My children have been homeschooled for the past seven years. I always considered "sleeping in" and staying in pajamas all day a benefit of homeschooling. Usually, if there is somewhere interesting to go, my kids are up and ready to go before I was. I have had people ask me whether this is a bad habit and how it will affect their ability to be responsible and get to work on time. Truthfully, this has never, I repeat NEVER been an issue. My two older girls like to be early--not just "on time" to work or any other scheduled event. They prepare their materials or equipment well ahead of time and take full responsibility for having necessary items. Same thing with eating. They eat when they are hungry and they eat what they want. None of them suffer from malnutrition or over-eating.

Try to think back when you were a kid. How many things did you learn from experience on your own despite what wiser adults may have suggested? Sleeping late is not a safety issue. If they have somewhere they want to be at 6 am, they get up and go. :)

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Permalink Reply by Sarah Briand on December 12, 2010 at 5:17pm

Amen Marilyn!

Marilyn Shannahan said:

My children have been homeschooled for the past seven years. I always considered "sleeping in" and staying in pajamas all day a benefit of homeschooling. Usually, if there is somewhere interesting to go, my kids are up and ready to go before I was. I have had people ask me whether this is a bad habit and how it will affect their ability to be responsible and get to work on time. Truthfully, this has never, I repeat NEVER been an issue. My two older girls like to be early--not just "on time" to work or any other scheduled event. They prepare their materials or equipment well ahead of time and take full responsibility for having necessary items. Same thing with eating. They eat when they are hungry and they eat what they want. None of them suffer from malnutrition or over-eating.

Try to think back when you were a kid. How many things did you learn from experience on your own despite what wiser adults may have suggested? Sleeping late is not a safety issue. If they have somewhere they want to be at 6 am, they get up and go. :)