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finding balance

does anyone else ever have trouble finding the right balance as a parent and an artist. i go through totally dry spells artistically, they can last months..sometimes whole years. then i find myself inspired and i want to create create create. during these times i find myself reminded of why i put away that part of myself for so long while the kids were little. i don't feel like a good mom when i'm in artist mode. i get blinders real bad. total tunnel vision. with the kids being so independent now, it doesn't feel too bad to spend so much time indulging myself. but still, it feels like too much of a pull sometimes. and i get frustrated with myself for not knowing how to find a better balance.

can anyone relate????

Tags: art, balance, parenting

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Ren on July 18, 2008 at 11:24pm

Balance is overrated.:) Ok, I know that wasn't particularly helpful but I'm too tired to think right now. Great question. I wrote an article about this topic for Live Free Learn Free once-upon-a-time. Don't remember what issue, it's been a while.

Is there someplace we can archive articles?

Permalink Reply by Heather on July 18, 2008 at 11:29pm

I remember that article. Unschooling With the Muse. It was so so helpful to me!

Here it is:
http://sandradodd.com/renmuse

Ha! That was quick, no?
If you haven't already La, READ THIS!!!!!!!!!! It's POWERFUL.

Permalink Reply by Heather on July 18, 2008 at 11:31pm

Artist mode for me = mental illness. I can totally relate to the tunnel-vision stuff. Nothing else exists. So yeah, I push it away, because my kids are still at the age where I must keep watch! No balance for me. It's exactly as you described for me as well.

So I can relate, but alas, no help, I'm sure.

Permalink Reply by laura bowman on July 19, 2008 at 9:20am

heather, relating IS help!!!

Permalink Reply by laura bowman on July 19, 2008 at 9:41am

thanks for the link...i printed it out as i cannot read that much online!!!

Permalink Reply by Ren on July 19, 2008 at 11:18pm

It was originally in print form, which I also prefer! I get overwhelmed if something is lengthy..I need to curl up with it or something.

I think when the children are very little there is no such thing as "balance" the way people mean it. But that time is so short and their needs are greater.

My kids are old enough now that I feel ok with that whole immersion process (except when I need to stop and cook or something!) but with working full time it throws another kink into the fabric.

I haven't done much artistically since February. So much for balance! I find that when I do immerse, my kids seem to join me, flitting in and out of the peripheral as they choose.

Permalink Reply by laura bowman on July 20, 2008 at 8:49am

yeah, there was definitely not even an option to try to find "balance" when the kids were younger. i just knew it would come later and i was okay with that. now that it's later, i find myself sometimes still feeling like i'm not supposed to be THAT into anything but the kids. which i know is very UNbalanced. it's a hard habit to break. but even in the moments of immersion i look up and i see that they are fine and doing their own thing. it's that remembering to put food on the table sometimes that is troublesome. but then again, there are days when i just don't because we've decided it's a grazing kind of day anyway. those are good days for immersion.

and there are always interruptions. always. and that is okay too. i just have to learn to deal with how those interruptions make me feel and how i react. that's what i don't like about the blinders.

Permalink Reply by Ren on July 20, 2008 at 12:29pm

~~it's that remembering to put food on the table sometimes that is troublesome. but then again, there are days when i just don't because we've decided it's a grazing kind of day anyway. those are good days for immersion.~~

Same here.:)
I keep chocolate in the art room for many reasons, forgetting to eat being one of them. lol

Permalink Reply by Katherine on July 20, 2008 at 1:14pm

Karl is 5. And other things have affected our family dynamics a lot in the last 2 years. So while I haven't felt free to pursue art with Karl needing attention, I've also been a bit out of art mentally for too long. Yes. I can relate.

I think at this point, it would help *everything* for me to "get back on the horse" so to speak. I'm starting to get actually anxious about painting again. I don't function well in any part of my life without it, and since it's been years now I feel unfamiliar and a bit scared.

I've done that before... long hiatus from painting. When I got back at it, I found that my mind had been working on it the whole time I had been away from it and I actually had more to bring to the table.

Permalink Reply by laura bowman on July 21, 2008 at 2:49pm

exactly how i was. i would do little crafty things for christmas for family but for the most part i didn't do anything i was passionate about from 94-05...give or take. and it seemed like i just exploded that year and then i didn't do anything again until recently. it just comes in waves. i'm on a good wave right now.

Permalink Reply by Katherine on July 22, 2008 at 4:39pm

I mentioned this to friend on the phone and she said what she does is just prepare the canvas (for painting .... so for other things prepare whatever it takes to get started) and then with it all ready to hand like that, next time inspiration hits, you start immediately. Without the added fear of getting sidetracked with busy work before diving in.

Basically.... Get rid of physical obstacles first.

Makes sense to me.

Permalink Reply by laura bowman on July 29, 2008 at 8:46am

pam, is there somewhere that i can see your quilting? i looked all over your blog already.

have you seen sarah's quilts? they are amazing!

i am always so deeply impressed with quilting, i don't know that i would have that kind of patience or skill.