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Panic moments

Does anyone ever have panic moments, worrying about diplomas, college, jobs and all that good stuff?
I would love some ideas on how you handle it.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Alane on March 22, 2009 at 12:17pm: What specifically do you worry about? That they won't do well in college? won't get in? won't go at all?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Alane on March 22, 2009 at 12:43pm: (Tried to edit to add more, but couldn't.)

When I start to worry about something now, I remind myself of the things I worried about when they were small--those things all turned out fine, so I think it's reasonable to believe that any current worries probably fall into the same catagory.

Plus, there's a track record of sorts--(my older two are 14 and 18) in that they've been able to accomplish things they've set their minds to over the years. Again, no reason to believe that that won't continue, yk?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Dawning on March 22, 2009 at 2:59pm: I think I will always have those moments where I need to deschool myself. I remind myself that there is no set time table we need to live by.

As for a diploma, we can issue our own since in my state we are considered a home based private school. When we'll know its time, I have no idea. Its something I struggle with since I now believe learning is a life long process. I don't believe we are done at the magical age of 18. I suppose I'll print one out via our computer when they ask for one!

College- I'm fine with my kids not going, but if they choose to, I hope its because they really want to. I was sent away to college without knowing what it was I wanted from life. I wasted my parent's money. My husband had the experience of graduating after fours years with school loans, only to not be able to find a job. He then took one course at the local tech school and was able to find a job. He wished he would have went with a tech school over a 4 year university since it would have saved him time and money.

Unschooling has taught me its not about trying to measure up to everyone else, but trying to achieve your own goals. I really hope my boys find a way to make a living from their passions. I believe more in the entrepreneurial route than traditional schooling and degree route.

On a personal level, I find it easiest to quiet my own inner doubt when I ignore it and focus on my passions instead. Its better to be an autodidact role model for your children than worry about the what ifs.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by effingerslady on March 22, 2009 at 6:11pm: Thanks Alane.
I am quite the worrier sometimes. I worried over so many things when they were little, and it all turned out just fine. Thanks for that example. I didn't worry quite so much about college as I did the HS Diploma. I didn't used to worry about it so much, but had a discussion the other day with a Lady who was curious about homeschooling. She asked about the required HS courses and getting a diploma, etc. and I went home and started questioning things. I'm still deschooling myself and found myself reverting back to the days of thinking that you need a diploma and college to amount to anything in life.
Panic moment is officially over.....
Thanks,
Lisa; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by effingerslady on March 22, 2009 at 6:18pm: Thanks Dawning.
I like your idea about quieting my inner doubts by ignoring them and focusing on my passions instead. Sometimes, I find myself comparing myself to other moms or families and that is when I start having the self doubts. I will remember to ignore and focus when that happens.
Thanks so much,
Lisa; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Alane on March 24, 2009 at 8:21am: I've found that there have been certain moments when our "making it up as we go along" lifestyle has clashed more obviously with the mainstream. One such time was when they were 5 or 6 and we came against the "Are they reading yet?" thing.

Another was when my oldest became "high school aged." People questioned what he was studying, what his goals were, what colleges he was looking at (assuming that college was his goal) when was he taking the SAT, was he taking any AP tests...etc. etc. Now that he's 18, we're under the microscope again--it's a milestone for most kids and people want to know "what's next?"

He's not interested in college, so his peers' lives look very different from his. It helps me to focus on the individual person and his current needs and desires and goals rather than what "most kids" his age might be doing. He's not doing what "everyone else" is doing, but then, that was never the plan anyway.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by effingerslady on March 24, 2009 at 12:03pm: It's nice to hear from someone who has gone through these situations and how they handled it. It gives me some peace of mind.
Thanks; ▶ Reply to This