So frustrated with extended family

[Sheila Ritter]

So, my sister in law is getting involved with my family, after 9 years of noncommunication. Her main focus? My 9 year olds education. Or in her thinking, lack of education.

She will be here in August, just in time to FORCE MY son to go to school. She's gotten my mother in law involved and she, in turn, has been "working" on my husband to get him to talk to me about getting Dan into public school.

Dan doesn't WANT to go to public school and I don't want the drama we've had before with him in school so why can't that woman respect our decision? To have her on us is one thing but to have Mike cave.... That hurt and it makes it severely hard to stand up for my son when he's turned around like he has. Truthfully, it's hurting our relationship because I feel like he's not supporting me in our decision about whats best for our son.

I could really use some help here....

[Michael Jacobsen]

I'm sorry, I don't quite understand. How exactly can this person "force" you to put your child into public education?

As far as your husband goes, I can certainly understand the feelings of hurt and betrayal. It sounds like your husband is not involved in assisting with your son's explorations and does not have the understanding of nor experience with child directed education necessary to stand up to people who do not know what they are talking about, is that accurate? If so, I'd highly recommend sitting down with him and getting on the same page with him. Explain to him not only how important this is to you, but most of all how important it is for Dan. Ask him to truly educate himself on the subject before "choosing a side". (If he's willing to do that, find articles and book excerpts to help start him out down the path of understanding the importance of self-directed exploration.)

I wish you the very best of luck in this. FWIW I recently had to fight with my ex-wife on this very subject. In the end, my son and I prevailed in showing her just how powerful self-direction combined with learning is and she has now "backed off" the whole public school parade. I hope for a similar outcome for you. All the best.

[Jean Godar]

Sheila, August has come and gone. How did you sister-in-law's visit go?  Did you manage to get through her visit (and not  strangle her) ?  I hope it went better than you feared.

[Sheila Ritter]

Well, lol, she has yet to come for a visit! I guess my conversation with her on Facebook nipped that in the bud. I thanked her for her concern but we didn't need her "help". Dan is doing wonderfully in his "studies" and Sean has started "normal" school. I'm still trying to figure out how she thought she was going to MAKE Dan go to school.

All is well in the house otherwise except for health concerns with hubby. We've discovered he has a growth in his lungs and is supposed to go to a specialist on the 28th of this month.

[Jean Godar]

I happy to hear that you've managed to keep her out of your family's  life for now, sounds like you set some boundaries and she got the message.  I am sorry though to hear about your husband's health concerns, I wish you all the best.

Sheila Ritter said:

Well, lol, she has yet to come for a visit! I guess my conversation with her on Facebook nipped that in the bud. I thanked her for her concern but we didn't need her "help". Dan is doing wonderfully in his "studies" and Sean has started "normal" school. I'm still trying to figure out how she thought she was going to MAKE Dan go to school.

All is well in the house otherwise except for health concerns with hubby. We've discovered he has a growth in his lungs and is supposed to go to a specialist on the 28th of this month.