Andy Marshall's Page

"Very nice outcome!  Thanks for the update."

"Just an update...   Seems like the initial ban I had passed, sent a message to the kids. Later one by one they'd come and ask for permission to come in and I'd allow them only if they promised not to mess up the house and raid the…"

"It seems that the sweet shops  or sweets displays in stores are your problem.  If you spot it up ahead or know its up ahead walk down a different aisle or on the other side of the street and direct their attention to the interesting…"

"hahaha - yes I had seen your post about the trip earlier before visiting the forum, so you know what I mean when I talk about cultural differences. Also there is this big thing about age. If I am older than you, you are supposed to touch my feet!…"

"-=-Most people children and adults alike are foreign to the concept of 'personal space'. So there is always this environmental and cultural impact which can often be a hindrance while communicating cross culturally.-=- I want to add to…"

"Meredith: When I said everyday, I meant everyday. Not during holidays. I mean somedays the house would be less messed up than others. But yes everyday. His friends would come to our house straight from school, or sometimes, they'd go home…"

"What works best for us is honesty. Even if you are feeling torn about the situation if you talk about it I found that the kids can respect it.   I haven't found that to work with kids who are used to having a lot of rules, frankly,…"

"I don't want to be sitting among them policing to check who is going to the kitchen or opening the fridge. I work in the basement where the rest of the bedrooms are too.   It helps to step away from ideas like "policing" - that…"

"Thank you for your suggestions Meredith & Robin.   Honesty was already a part of our relationship... but I will try it with those kids too. They are wonderful kids, I know from my past observations, it's just the atmosphere at home…"

"It helps to see yourself as the host when other kids come over - like the host of a party. You wouldn't leave your guests to root around in your things, you'd offer them things to do and eat and use. You'd set up parts of the house as…"

"I am curious to know how it worked out Sarah? Did the popcorn idea work?   We are facing the same situation where our son's friends come and just raid the house. They finish entire bottles of shampoo and eat up all the cheese and sausages…"

"yeh - it does. I think he is developing a very deep understanding of narrative and story-telling for a boy of his age, and also it is a window on the world - especially The Simpsons! We've had some pretty interesting discussions! i think…"

":) thanks for replying so well joyce - i appreciate it. not got time to read it all thru properly right now and respond, but i will do when i get the chance."

"...and go and play some online games involving internet spaceships :D"

"ah - see this raises an interesting point to me sarah.... a lot of teh reasoning as far as i understand it is that by removing all limits you let the children binge on it for a bit and when they get to the point where they reaslise that the limits…"

"i know i know... i'm just wanting your number. how long did your kids take to reach the point of self regulation? i know the reasoning behind it and i know that it depends on so many various factors, i'm just trying to get a feel for the…"