the network for radical unschooling families
If I hadn't heard about unschooling, I would have never had the opportunity to critically look at the way I treat my children. I always considered myself to be a loving and responsible parent, but since my kids were born, it always came with a condition ... to do what I or my husband asks, with the rationale being that we know best. I'm figuring out that so much of that is ego-driven and a desire to correct what I disliked in myself as a child. My children DO know what they need & enjoy life in the present, but it was hard for me to realize or even accept that. This transition to loving and supporting them unconditionally is very exciting because the slight changes that I've noticed (and they are gradual because we're in the process of deschooling and will be for quite a while) are so positive.
In addition, I'm realizing more and more how much of a people-pleaser I tend to be, with adults in particular. I have been one of those moms who did listen more to adults than her children during social events out of "politeness" to the adults, not realizing that I wasn't being polite or caring enough to my children sometimes. I'm a newbie at real mindfulness, but this seems to be the key to keeping attune to my children and their needs.
Finally, I'm figuring out how important it is for my husband to be on the same page in terms of positive parenting & unschooling. He's very supportive of the change that's going to come (me quit my job to stay at home) but we're not going to see the changes we'd like if either of us reverts back to our ol' punishment/reward or yelling ways. I think it's time to get together after the kids have gone to bed, relax on the couch & talk.
I do wish I had read about unschooling years ago ... but thank goodness I did while there's time!! There's so much more to learn ...