He Wants Worksheets!!! EEEKKK!!!!

[Dawning]

I normally blog over on Multiply, but I only want this one read by unschoolers. Yesterday DS11 freaked me out because he said, "I'm glad I don't go to school because I'm not smart."

I questioned him why he felt that he was not smart. Several weeks ago he hinted at this issue and I grabbed a 6th grade math textbook. We sat down going through the first 10 lessons and he was surprised at how much he already knew. At the time, he seemed satisfied that he was just as "smart" as the kids his age who go to school.

We spoke about all the things he did know that perhaps others did not, but I'm wondering what can I do to help his confidence. When I asked him directly he said he'd like to do worksheets. I shuttered!!

How can an always unschooled child have these feelings? I know the answer to this actually. My real concern is why isn't my son feeling confident in his abilities.

This probably is a normal part of growing up, comparing yourself to others. I will have to help him work through this and help him realize how wonderful he is.

[Dawning]

Thanks Scott. My son actually loves puzzle books and has been enjoying them for years. We also hang out a lot in bookstores and libraries, and I enjoy buying books for them.

I think the worksheet request is really a desire in his heart to be like his peers, which given his age, is normal. Going through the pre-teen, teen years, is about figuring out what kind of person you want to be.

Unfortunately, my sons have no other unschooling friends. They have friends who go to public school and friends who homeschool, but those homeschooled friends are doing "school at home".

If he really wants to do worksheets, he's welcome to, but its my hope that he builds his inner confidence. I can understand how if you are doing something different than everyone else, as a young adult, you may worry about fitting in. We all want to belong. Yes, he has a loving, safe environment to learn and grow in, but I'm sure he's thinking about taking those test flights from the nest to see where his wings take him.

After mentioning worksheets the other day, he actually has yet to do one. I'm wondering if he just needed to talk this out with me.

[Scott]

It sounds like there are two separate issues here, though they came up at the same time. One issue is that today he thinks he is not smart.

The other is that he is interested in doing worksheets. I'll just address this second concern. I do understand that he said worksheets as a response to a question about confidence, but to have that answer readily in mind when you asked he must have been thinking of and interested in worksheets before this.

I used to love doing puzzle books when I was growing up. There was also a magazine called Games I subscribed to that had puzzles. Puzzle books are fun to some people, perhaps worksheets are too. Just as I am sure you have him buy the books he is interested in, why not let him select a workbook or two and try them out. Or maybe some logic puzzle books, or a book of brain twisters.

When we visit the book store the kids each select and buy a book they are interested in. I assume most parents do this as well but I suppose I never asked anyone. I am fairly sure most good sized bookstores have workbooks and puzzlebooks of all sorts.